


Indispensable

by gunmetal_ring



Series: Headcanons [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drabble, Freeform, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29358120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunmetal_ring/pseuds/gunmetal_ring
Summary: Daryl finds out that Rick left Carol behind.(Season 4, episode 8: "Made to Suffer")
Series: Headcanons [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2156577
Kudos: 4





	Indispensable

**Author's Note:**

> Just a collection of my Daryl/Carol/Caryl headcanon drabbles!

Daryl can’t believe what Rick is telling him.

Carol’s gone. _Gone_.

A sick pit settles low in his gut, hot and roiling.

He’s gotten a better grip on his temper lately – and he knows, _Rick_ knows that’s because of them, because of _Carol_ – but he can barely hold it back.

He’s pacing back and forth, trying to swallow down the slowly-rising fury, tenuous as things are at the prison – and he can’t even begin to wrap his head around the fact that _Carol’s_ the one that killed Karen and Davis. _Carol_.

He’s got half a mind to walk away, stew in his anger until things make sense, but fuck if he’s letting Rick off that easy.

Daryl whirls around, spits out, “Man, you couldn’t have waited until we got _back_?!”

It’s not what he wants to say, but it’ll have to do.

Rick cocks his head and adopts that grating let’s-be-rational voice. “Until Tyreese got back?”

Please. “I could’ve handled that.”

“Hey. _Hey_. She killed _two of our own_. She couldn’t be here.”

Daryl’s first instinct is to argue – _she’s family, it wasn’t your call to make, we could have worked it out_ – but by the look on Rick’s face he knows it’ll fall on deaf ears.

Rick says, “She’s gonna be alright. She has a car, supplies, weapons. She – she’s a survivor.”

But the way he says it is thin, flat. Like he’s trying to convince himself.

“Stop saying that like you don’t believe it!”

Rick doesn’t know _shit_. Carol _is_ a survivor. She survived that goddamn prick of a husband, she survived the CDC explosion, she survived Sophia’s death, she survived in the fucking _tombs_. She’s survived _every fucking day_ of this hellscape of a world. Made it worth _living_.

Rick has the grace to look guilty, at least, and Daryl turns away.

“She did it. She said it was for _us_. That’s how it was in her head.” Rick dips his head, trying to catch Daryl’s eye. “She wasn’t sorry.”

Daryl glares at Rick, refusing to accept it. “Man, that’s her, but that ain’t her.”

Rick _knows_ her, for fuck’s sake. He knows who she is, she’s their fucking _family_ , and he wants to act like this is something that he can’t begin to understand.

Maybe Daryl doesn’t understand it either, can’t actually believe she did this, but he can see her logic. He can see why she did it. He can see why she believes it was the right thing to do.

It wasn’t, but he can see why she did.

He holds Rick’s gaze, daring him to argue, but in his eyes the guilt gives way to acceptance.

Daryl changes tack. “What are you supposed to do about those two girls?”

Rick sighs. “I told her we’d look after them.”

Daryl knows exactly what was running through Carol’s head when he said that – _you told Sophia you’d protect her, and look what happened_.

And she’s probably wondering how many children she’s going to lose in this lifetime. Sure, Judith and Carl are still alive, and they aren’t her kids, but they’re her family. She takes care of Judith just as much as Rick and Beth do, but now that doesn’t count for anything?

Daryl feels a lump rise in his throat like it always does when he thinks too long about Sophia, and combined with the fact that _Carol’s gone_ , he can’t even look at Rick.

He rests his head on his arms, hanging over the railing, trying to blink back the prickling in his eyes and develop a plan.

Maybe the girls will be safe. Even though one of them is sick.

Maybe Carol’s not going to listen to Rick. Maybe she’ll come back, demand to take back her place.

Maybe she’ll stay nearby, hoping that he’ll change his mind and find her.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Carol’s smart, though. Rick’s stepped down from the decision-making, allowed a council to step up in his place, but she’s been with him long enough to know that his word is final. He doesn’t second-guess himself. What’s done is done.

She’s not coming back. She’s not waiting for him to change his mind.

And Daryl knows, deep down, no matter what he or anyone else at the prison tells her, she still sees herself as a burden. As dispensable.

Daryl knows intimately how hard it is to come back from the kind of shit that Ed put her through. How deeply rooted those thoughts live. How loud they are during the darkest moments.

She’s not coming back. She doesn’t think she deserves it. He wouldn’t, if he was in her position.

But it’s not _true_. She deserves to be here. She helped build this place into what it is. It’s not a tomb anymore – it’s a home, and it’s because of her.

She’s _family_ , for fuck’s sake. That’s reason enough.

Rick says, “I haven’t told Tyreese yet. I don’t know how he’s gonna take it.”

Fine. He’ll do this with Rick. He’ll help break the news. “Let’s go find out.”

Tyreese should know, right away. Right now. Give him enough time to wrap his mind around it. Come to terms with it. Accept it. Believe it.

Because as soon as this shit’s taken care of, Daryl’s out of here.

He’s finding Carol, with or without Rick.


End file.
